...and what have you done with the real Giants?

When the real Freddy Sanchez returns to earth, and the mashed up combination of the DNA of Ted Williams and Mango from late '90's Saturday Night Live that has been playing in his place is returned to the aliens, he will ask what happened.

When the real Cody Ross returns to earth, and the mashed up combination of the DNA of Babe Ruth and Rob Corddry that has been playing in his place is returned to the aliens, he will ask what happened.

When the real Edgar Renteria is returned to earth, and the mashed up DNA of Ozzie Smith and the Draw Me Turtle that has been playing in his place is returned to the aliens, he will ask what happened.

Looks like we might have a good story for them.

Speaking of DNA, mine prevents me from declaring this World Series a done deal. We have a travel day, Arlington, Texas, and a Jonathan Sanchez road start to get through. But, there have been 50 teams in the history of Baseball to go up 2-0 in the Fall Classic. 41 of them have won the series. The team that is currently up 2-0 looks loose, groovy and is making all the right moves. The other team alternates between looking dejected and looking like they are unraveling. And their DNA is made of pop ups.

It feels good to be in the driver's seat.

Predicting the Unpredictable

As I did before the NLDS and the NLCS, I visited ESPN's website to check out what their resident experts had to say about the upcoming World Series and... Surprise! They unanimously predicted that the Texas Rangers would win the series.

The experts are going out on a limb here and reasoning that the Rangers have a better offense than the Giants. Hmm - I hadn't thought of it that way. That's some hard-hitting sports journalism. Surely, you might think, the Giants have had dominant starting pitching all season, so they have the edge there, right? Not so fast, my dear simple-minded fan. Here's another edgy insight for you: The Rangers 1-2-3 might be just as good. In fact, their number one starter is making history in the post season and might have a slight edge over Tim Lincecum. This is some real, Bob Costasy, Outside the Linesy type stuff.

I don't really disagree with this assessment of the two teams, but I am tired of hearing it. And it's not just because I'm a homer who doesn't like to hear anything bad the Giants. I know the Giants have their weaknesses. I will fully admit that, with a few exceptions, the Giants are sketchy defensively, show the patience of a kid on Christmas morning at the plate, and on the basepaths, most of them look like plumbers running to catch the van after they forgot to put on the parking brake. I would feel a lot more confident about their chances in the World Series if these things weren't true.

But the Braves series and the Phillies series didn't play out according to the conventional assessment of the teams, and I don't think this one will either. I think the national writers and experts are finally starting the realize that Bochy is a shrewd game manager, but could they - or anyone - have forseen him being able to stitch together a patchwork quilt of Affeldt, Bumgarner, Lopez, Lincecum, and Wilson for the win after Sanchez' meltdown? Two starters, two bullpen guys and your closer for seven innings of scoreless relief?

If one improbable thing can happen, then why can't they just keep happening? Here are my predictions for the World Series, which I maintain are just as probable as any other result:

- The Giants beat Cliff Lee in Game One. He's been dominant, but he's a strike thrower. He doesn't pitch out of the zone, but he should because the Giants are hacks and that's what they swing and miss at: garbage pitches out of the zone. Juan Uribe and Cody Ross, who both have good lifetime numbers on Lee, go deep.

- The Giants go 2-0 at AT & T, partly because of the advantage they have there but mostly because Matt Cain. Josh Hamilton's drives continue to die in triples alley, and in the late innings he is vexed by Javi Lopez. After two games, Hamilton is 1 for 8 with two strikeouts.

-In Texas, the homefield advantage is neutralized in the same way it was in Philly (The Giants hit four home runs in Citizens' Bank Park to the Phillies' four). They outhomer the Rangers in the three games there four to two, on their way to winning games four and five.

So, yes, I'm saying Giants in five. Improbable, but would you really be that surprised?

World Series!

My heart rate - which first quickened during Sanchez' meltdown in the first inning and skyrocketed during the eighth and ninth - has finally stabilized. I've come to terms with the fact that this Giants team that I adore - a team that will probably not score more than five runs in any game for the remainder of the postseason - will in fact play in the World Series and I am not dreaming. I've liked all of my friends' Giants related stati on Facebook.

In a few days, I'll start complaining about all of the sports experts' inevitable predictions that the Rangers will prevail, and trying to fight off bad memories from 1989 and 2002. Today, I'm allowing myself only to savor this moment, and reflect on the moments and images of this NLCS:

- Jonathan Sanchez last night, glove out, not even reaching for the ball that Chase Utley casually flipped to him after getting beaned, and letting it fall to the ground.

- Pablo Sandoval at second base, clapping and waving his arms and pointing to the sky after finally coming through with his bat by blasting a two run double in Game 4, being cheered on by the San Francisco fans who wanted so desperately to see the Pablo of 2009, and finally did.

- Tim Lincecum getting out of a jam in Game 5, and telling Jimmy Rollins who had just been stranded on third, "Stay there!" on his way back to the dugout.

- Cody Ross' grin, wherever it was found.

- Juan Uribe's half flip of the bat in Game 4, outdone only by Part II: Full Flip in Game 6.

- Everything said and done by Brian Wilson. My favorite person in the universe got even favoriter.

Four more wins. Just four more.

Repositioning Frowns so that the Top Side Faces Downward

Following a heartbreaker like last night's, fans of the team on the losing end hear a lot of sports cliches on radio, and read them in print and computer screens. These cliches are designed to make us feel better about our team's situation. Here is one of my (usually) least favorite:

"If someone had told you in April that the Giants would be up 3-2 following Game Six in the NLCS, you would have taken it."

Of course I would have taken it. But I've watched enough sports to know that that phrase is only said in the aftermath of something really heartbreaking happening. So I would have known that this future guy who is telling me this knows about the aforementioned heartbreak. "What happened Future Man! What horrible thing just happened to my Giants!!!"

But there are a lot of things to take from this particular cliche:

The Phillies are an awesome, awesome team. Their lineup is full of threats top to bottom. They have an amazing starting three pitchers. I knew this before the series started but after watching five games I know now that it wasn't just hype. Something I learned while watching the series is that Rollins and Werth are incredible defenders.

What's encouraging is not just that we are up 3-2 but in games the Phillies win, they are not blowing the Giants away. The fact that these Giants, with this lineup, are in the position that they are in right now, while playing their style of baseball is what is amazing.

The Giants drew the Phillies into their kind of fight. There's been one game for each team that was a decisive victory (Game Three for the Giants, Game Two for the Phillies), but besides that it has been tight games, with the team making the least amount of mistakes winning.

We have to not lose two in a row. And we won't, as long as we make the least amount of mistakes.

So what if we're going back to Philadelphia? The ballpark itself is not as much of advantage to the home team; We've hit more home runs in the two games there than they have. And the fans? I don't think fans affect the outcome of the game as much as we think they do. They can scream and yell all they want, but these guys are professionals. In all the outfield flies that have been hit by a home team in the history of baseball, how many of them have been accompanied by the fans screaming for the opposing defender to drop it? Probably all of them. What percentage of those are dropped because of the screaming? 0.01%? 0.001%? It's only annoying for us Giants fans watching Phillies fans freak out when something bad happens to the Giants, but we're not on the field.

Bruce Bochy is so even keeled he's almost dead. The players are calm and focused and they have no need to fear THE GREATEST TEAM OF ALL TIME THE PHILLIES. They played THE GREATEST TEAM OF ALL TIME THE PHILLIES five times already and they turned out to be a team that the Giants are capable of beating.

Full speed ahead, Giants. Steady as she goes.

Spoiler Alert!

Predictions for the homestand portion of the NLCS. These things will actually happen:

In Game Three, Aaron Rowand starts in center field and leads off, Edgar Renteria starts at short and bats second, and just to add more agony to the fan experience, Bochy puts Candy Maldonado in right.

Cole Hamels only lasts until the bottom of the fifth, when he storms off the mound, hurt that he's not getting any catcalls and whistles from the opposing fans like Tim Lincecum did.

In a first inning jam, Game Four Starter Madison Bumgarner strikes out Ryan Howard swinging with two runners in scoring position to end the inning. He then makes his first emotional display of the post season by clearing his throat and blinking.

Joe Buck and Time McCarver continue to ruffle critics by comparing Raul Ibanez' seventh inning throwing error to the dramatic twist of last week's "Human Target"

In the fourth inning of Game Five, Cody Ross hits one more home run to break slugger Jeffery Leonard's record for most in an NLCS. If that wasn't impressive enough, he also hits it with one flap down.

Sergio Romo shaves his beard in the dugout, hoping that Bruce Bochy will think he's Javier Lopez and bring him in to pitch the eighth.

In the post game press conference after Game Five, a confused Philadelphia reporter misinteprets the Giants' unofficial slogan and asks Bruce Bochy to explain why he supports torture.

Giants win two out of three in San Francisco and go back to Philly leading 3-2 in the series.

My Favorite Picture So Far This Week

Starting pitchers for Saturday's NLCS Game One?

Or the graduation day scene from a tearjerker about one high school teacher's passion for Geometry, and his commitment not to just teach it to the hoodlums who ditch school for the skate park, but to touch their lives as well?

Why the Giants Will Beat the Phillies

It's already been decided that the Phillies are not only going to beat the Giants in the NLCS, but absolutely steamroll them on the way to their third straight World Series. In fact, the Giants ought to be ashamed of themselves for having the gall to try to compete with the future Hall of Famers on this budding dynasty. John Kruk himself is offended at the Giants' display of hubris, but will soon reap the reward of poetic justice once the Giants slink back into their clubhouse after the eventual sweep.

We Giants fans are falling into two categories right now. Type one are those who feel that although our orange heroes are overmatched and will probably lose the series, it doesn't matter because we have far exceeded expectations. After the Braves series was over, I was firmly a type one. To borrow a term my buddy Kelly applied effectively to the sports world during the Golden State Warriors 2007 playoff run after they upset the Mavericks, I felt like we were gambling with house money. We already made it farther than I thought, so who cares what happens?

However, I now feel like I'm transforming into the second type, who sees not only why the Giants will show up and bring some fight to this series, but why they can actually win it. I could be getting overconfident, but since I'm a fan and not a player, it doesn't matter. So without further ado, here are the three reasons the Giants will eliminate the Phillies and advance to the World Series:

1. The Great Phillies Lineup Was Not-So-Great Against the Reds

A few analysts are bringing up the fact that the Giants and the Phillies both hit .212 in their respective NLDS. That alone reflects well enough on the Giants considering the superiority of Philadelphia's lineup. But I don't feel like anybody is talking about the fact the Phillies' opponent was a Reds team that got to the post season on the strength of their hitting and wasn't exactly blowing anybody away with their pitching. I expected the Phillies to explode, but they mustered just one home run and four extra base hits for the series to go along with that .212 average. Versus the Reds? In tiny ballparks? Even though the Giants bats will be quiet in this series, expect Lincecum, Cain, and Sanchez to neutralize Philadelphia's offense and level the playing field.

2. Bochy is a More Tested Game Manager than Manuel

Bruce Bochy and Phillies' manager Charlie Manuel have similar formulas for victory: Get seven or eight innings out of your starters, hand it off to the reliable setup guy, hand it off to the reliable closer. In the Braves series, though, Bochy had to weather two meltdowns from the setup guy, and had to reorganize the lineup constantly to find the guy who could get the big hit while keeping reliable gloves in the field. Manuel might be able to email the lineup cards for the whole series to the umps on Friday night. Also, Phillies fans I've been chatting with have a lot of complaints about Manuel's decision-making. True, fans love to rip their managers and are not always objective. But the other side of that coin is that a lot of Bochy critics I know are starting to come around to him, which I see as a testament to his emerging shrewdness.

3. Karma

While the Phillies spent this week eating cheese steaks and getting thrown out of strip clubs, the Giants banded together to free the trapped miners in Chile. Okay, not the Giants per se. I understand some people from NASA also might have been involved. But my point stands that the Phillies not only won a World Series as recently as two years ago, they're probably already looking ahead to this year's fall classic in haste. The Giants, on the other hand, are humble and lovable and their fans are long-suffering. They would never feel entitled to victory. And for that, we should be entitled to victory (That's how karma works).

These games are going to be low-scoring, close, tense and sweaty, and are going to come down to one or two timely hits. This won't be easy. And that's exactly what the Giants are used to.

Prediction: Giants in Seven.

Victory! Giants Advance to NLCS

Eight victories away from the World Series.

Between now and when that road starts on Saturday, there will be plenty of time to dissect, hope, critique, obsess, and recommend. There will be time to look toward the future and try to put some kind of frame around it.

Right now, I'm looking toward the past. To March, to be exact. Looking at a team with strong starting pitching, question marks everywhere else, and leadership in which I had minimal trust to provide answers. Since then, a lot of young players grew up, a lot of older players played like they weren't done yet, and a lot of people made decisions which - either through luck or foresight - worked out.

I don't know what's going to happen next weekend, but then again, I didn't know what was going to happen last March. The Giants exceeded my expectations. Jonathan Sanchez grew from a thrower with good stuff - who either walked a dozen or struck out a dozen - to a mature pitcher who could settle in after a rocky start. Freddy Sanchez went from a washed-up, streaky hitter to a permanent fixture as the second batter in the lineup. Bruce Bochy went from a haggard former catcher who seemed to be guessing when he filled out the lineup card to a shrewd game manager who had a penchant for putting someone like Cody Ross in the lineup at just the right time.

We're one series away from the World Series. Unbelievable. And although the Phillies are definitely a much tougher foe than the Braves, I have to believe that some yet-to-be-identified Giants will grow, transition, and become something tomorrow that they aren't today.

If enough guys do that, then we'll have an interesting series on our hands.

You win some, you... this.

This one was like two games. In the first game, Cain pitched strong and left with a 4-1 lead. In the second game, Sergio Romo and Brian Wilson had just gotten back from summer vacation and had to dive right back into work before their first cup of coffee.

Actually, I don't know how to explain the first bullpen failure in a month. I won't blame Bochy, because he was following the same formula that worked over and over and over. And, despite their slogan, I don't think the Giants are really torturing us. Some of them look like they might be psychotic, but I think they're just big teddy bears at heart.

I think this was just one of those freak things. Of all the things that went wrong, the most normal of them was the Pablo Sandoval error. But they had chances after that; it was before the Posey double play and the Ankiel home run. How likely is that loss really, after the way the game went until the seventh? The Braves hit the jackpot on a slot machine and that's going to be my final word on it. Now we just have to steal one in Atlanta.

Nobody said this would be easy.

Lincecum Throws Complete Game Shutout, Strikes Out 14

With three days in between the last pitch of the division title clinching game on Sunday and the first pitch of Game One of the NLDS, everything was under the microscope. The 25-man roster, Barry Zito, Aaron Rowand, The strength of Braves pitching, the inconsistency of the Giants offense, Bruce Bochy's beard, Buster Posey's lack thereof, Bobby Cox's 401K, etc. Anything to fill in the 72 hours of unbaseball.

Of course, for good measure, baseball minds threw in Lincecum's so-called "up and down" season into the discussion ring. To be sure, he had a horrible August this year (7.28 ERA). But I can't call Lincecum's 2010 up and down, mostly due to the fact that August of 2010 was possibly the only down month of his entire life. It was a worry, but after September I think everyone was confident he had put it behind him. This didn't stop the announcers from using the phrase "roller-coaster season" during his warm ups last night.

This roller coaster season stuff is just part of the rap against Lincecum. Along with him being too skinny and everyone thinking his arm is going to fall off because of his quirky delivery. The rap is easy because it's obvious. We can point out the obvious, or things that happened in the past, but it has nothing to do with what will happen next. The great ones can turn in performances that can disprove what we thought would happen, and cause us to highlight paragraphs of analysis on our screens and hit the delete key, because we have to rethink what we thought. He's not too small. His arm is going to be fine. The roller coaster is smoother than we thought and it only has one dip.

I have to admit that before the game I was thinking about the 2009 All Star game. Lincecum got the start and wilted a little bit in the spotlight during that game. For me it was cause for concern that the Freak could freak out on a big stage. After Infante's leadoff double, I wondered if it was happening again. Then, in the second inning, when he started striking everyone out, I knew he was not only going to win the game, but possibly close the book on the rap against him.

Tim Lincecum has been a star for awhile, but I feel like we're watching the emergence of a superstar. He's getting to that point where when there is doubt, he can just throw it aside effortlessly. Listen to him during the post game press conference. It's boring:

Reporter: "How did you do this incredible thing?" Tim: " Well, things were obviously working."

Reporter: "Is this your best game ever?" Tim: "It's hard to rank them, I just try to give my team a chance to win."

He's not amazed at himself. It's just a matter of fact. And when the amazing becomes a matter of fact, that's when superstars are made.

A Post Season Poem

Getting to the playoffs is kind of like getting an early Christmas present. But only if the Giants win Game One. With that in mind, I present the following verse:

Twas the night before playoffs, and all through the night

Bruce Bochy was getting his roster just right

He whittled it down to a mere twenty-five

Would Rowand, Renteria or Zito survive?

Tim Lincecum dreamed of the pitches he'd master

And not starting like in his All-Star Game disaster

Buster Posey prepared for the national stage

Huff's also a first timer, but near twice his age

Freddy Sanchez, also in his playoff debut

Still ecstatic his days as a Pirate were through

But the man that the fans like to call Pat the Bat

Had the most playoff wisdom hid under his hat

Panda hoped to return to high levels of play

Would he succeed? Or swing at one low and away?

Juan Uribe could also frustrate with his hacking

Impatience would cause the home runs to be lacking

Jose Guillen would round out the game's starting lineup

Or perhaps Cody Ross; Bochy, please make your mind up!

Brian Wilson would be ready to close out the game

He led the whole bullpen, and called them by name:

"On Romo! On Runzler! On Ray and Ramirez!

On Mota! On Affeldt! Casilla and Lopez!"

No one knows what might happen, but there will be a fight

Happy Playoffs to all, and to all a good night!

Feel Good Post

In an effort to balance out my fret-a-thon that is currently taking place in anticipation of Braves-Giants Game One, I wanted to take a break from critiquing rosters and sizing up opponents to move back into the sunshine from Sunday that is still glowing warmly. First, I want to post my favorite picture from Sunday:

What unbridled joy does to people's faces. I can't tell if he just scored on an Aubrey Huff double, or got tazed in his behind. Or maybe he's actually a lemur. Either way, seeing it brings me back to that moment, even two days later. Chills.

* * *

And speaking of pictures I could look at all day...

On a more somber, yet honorable note, on Sunday the Giants quietly honored the memory of the late Rod Beck, former stud closer for the Giants from 1991-97. His career was highlighted by recording a franchise record 48 saves in '93 (including 24 in a row), getting out of a bases-loaded no-out jam against the Dodgers in the Brian Johnson walk-off game in '97 (pitcured above), and an awesome trucker's mustache.

Sadly, Beck passed away in 2007 after being out of baseball for three years. He was only 38.

The Giants brought Stacey Beck, Rod Beck's widow, and their two daughters as guests to the entire Padres series over the weekend. On Sunday, the Beck family not only saw Rod's former team win the division title, but saw current closer Brian Wilson tie Beck's record with his 48th save.

After the game, in a classy move, Wilson called Beck a legend and acknowledged that the saves record belongs to Rod Beck alone; that Wilson can only share a part of it.

Zito and the Playoffs

There's room for 11 pitchers on the post-season roster. That, coupled with the fact that the Giants have the ability to shuffle the roster again should they advance past their first series against the Atlanta Braves, gives all fans the possibility to play mad scientist and create a team perfectly suited to slay this particular beast.

When I go into the lab and look at the five man rotation, a few things stand out. Four actually. Four solid starters. Let's see, that leaves...

Barry Zito, I see you're a big elephant, so you might as well come into the room. Why don't you have a seat so we can pick you and your salary apart?

The current shakiest starter in the rotation is an easy target right now for fans who don't want to see him muttering to himself after giving up early runs. And although before the regular season stretch run I was pleading with the Giants to not mess with success and leave the rotation alone, I am starting to buckle. I think that in a shorter, best of five series we don't need - nor do we want - Zito out there. And when there's Lopez, Affeldt and Runzler to choose from we don't even need him in the bullpen as a lefty.

My "everyone has a couple of bad start now and then" disposition turned sour shortly after the wretched Padres game. I try not to be a fan who judges based only on recent performance, so I looked at Zito's last ten decisions, going back to the beginning of August: (2-8, 47.2 IP, 6.60 ERA, 24 BB, 53 H). That's the kind of skid that makes Tim Lincecum's August look like Tim Lincecum's September. Also mixed into this time period is Zito's relief appearance in the Cincinnati game they almost came back from: Pressure situation, and he gets the loss in that game. It's not a bump in the road - it's a long term slide and the playoffs is not the time to drag yourself out of the quicksand. You need to be fully out to start a playoff game.

I can't quite picture the Giants sitting Zito in real life yet, but he may have finally lost Bochy's trust in that Padres game. I give him about a 50-50 chance for survival, and for a highly paid veteran, that's not good. And it's not just Zito, it's the circumstances. Bumgarner's last start was also during a stretch where every game was a game that the Giants needed to win, and he responded to the pressure. He's good enough to be our Game Four Starter. If he hadn't, or if this were a best of seven series, it would increase Zito's odds to make the roster, but right now, they can afford to sit him. What they can't afford is for him to lay another egg.

We're In!

Finally. A celebration on the mound.

Since Game Three of the 2003 NLDS ended with a loss to the Florida Marlins, I have been looking forward to the day when the Giants could have a celebration on the mound. I've watched 18 bajillion mound celebrations since that gray afternoon in Miami seven years ago and no Giants have been a part of any of them.

I like watching catchers running out to hug pitchers. I like when grown men pour out of the dugout like kids on the last day of school. I like watching guys wearing awkwardly fitting Division Champs t-shirts they just got handed over their uniforms give high fives to geeked up fans. I like seeing someone like Bruce Bochy, who I actually thought was born without the facial muscles required for a human being to smile, smile from ear to ear.

I especially like seeing a guy like Freddy Sanchez - an All Star on last-place Pirates teams who never quite got fully embraced here in San Francisco because of his tendency to streak - streak his way into our hearts with a two out hit that started the scoring, and celebrate his first playoff appearance.

I also like seeing a guy like Aubrey Huff - who received a lot of MVP votes playing on bad Devil Rays and Orioles teams, and arrived in San Francisco to the sound of shrugging shoulders because we thought he was just another aging veteran who was past his prime - hit one into the gap to continue the scoring and celebrate his first playoff appearance.

In a way Huff and Sanchez symbolize the post-Bonds era Giants. Both guys picked up for their offense but nobody really expected much out of them. Aubrey because he was over the hill, Freddy because he wasn't going to repeat his good years. But both guys contributed big time this season, both came through in the most important game in seven years.

Tonight is a night of celebration, but I can't get too gushy yet. There is a huge orchard of post-season moments sprawling out in front of me and I need to save some of this up for that.

Now let's go get those Braves.